Relationship Mindsets

I've been reflecting on people's mindsets, particularly in regards to relationships and individual needs. It's not uncommon for people to only think of their desires and their needs, without putting a second thought into others'. Even when pursuing a relationship, more often than not, its 'I want to be with this person' more so than 'I want this person to be happy.' And this mindset is what I think make relationships not last. The initial infatuation and burning desire to be with someone will always fade. It's a mindset bound for failure. You might want to put in a lot of effort to catch their attention, or win them over - but, what happens afterwards? They feel in love BECAUSE of those efforts to fulfill their needs and desires. Once the fuel to your effort is burnt out, what is there left? The effort decreases, and the partner's needs are no longer sufficiently met. It starts off with needs being met close to one hundred percent of the time, then becomes as common as a legendary roaming pokemon. Bam, incoming break up.

With the altnerative mindset, you are attentive and sensitive to their needs and desires, regardless of feelings or lust or infatuation. Their happiness and content is your goal, and the fuel to your actions. A renewable source of energy for the relationship.

On another note, when you live your life thinking of others, be cautious of who you allow into your life. There will be those people who will reap the benefits much more than they give back to you. Whether consciously or not, it is irrelevant. Regardless, you will become numb from the anger of feeling let down or dissatisfied, and feel disappointment take its place. Possibly with a sprinkle of self blame. It's never their fault.