Reaching for Clear Skies

I turns out that Ahri might actually be a boy T_T

YAY BIRDIE PUBERTY!!!! (not really)

She is starting her first molt. It is still going to take another month or two before she actually drops all her baby feathers for new big birdie feathers. The 4 or so tail feathers that have grown out are all solid grey ._. The baby feathers were barred so it is a pretty distinct difference. Ahri has also been REALLY attached to me. In the morning, Ahri wants to come out and play and just be ON me on way or another. I accidentally swung the cage door open when I took the night cover off her cage and didn't realise it happened before going back to sleep again. She ended up flopping to the ground, climbing my computer tower and then slowly making her way up my mattress just to plopping onto my face and chill. When I brush my teeth together with Ahri in the morning, shes always whistling. Shes whistling A CRAP TONNE! Shes copied quite a few sounds here and there. Her favourite sounds are a sucking sound, kissing sound and my samsung notification sound. Its a lot better than her screaming... SAhe whistles a lot more when Denne is around... Oh yeah, theres the beak banging and wing stretching.  Distinct courtship behaviour... fuck me ._.

Look after your mother fucking children. Yes, I understand that it is hard to make your child stop having a temper tantrum, stop them screaming or stop them from acting how. HOWEVER, when your child is running around opening every fridge door in the restaurant, running up and down the walk ways, throwing food left and right, ITS YOUR JOB AS A PARENT TO TEACH THEM NOT TO ACT LIKE A LITTLE SHIT! I can't even stop to count the amount of times a parent was on their phone, facebooking away whilst they have a big bowl within arms reach. Guess what happens? Oh my, the baby whacked it over. The amount of times where parents would let and infant eat by itself, and allow the infant to throw food within a one fucking metre radius. I understand if you do that at home, great, you can clean it up yourself. But what makes people think that it is ok for other to clean up the mess that you allow your child to make. It is our job to bring you food, but it doesn't mean you  make it hard on us. Be thoughtful, if you wouldn't like to clean up after some lazy asshole's disgusting child, then we wouldn't too, whether it is a part of our job or not. It's like you wouldn't shit and smear your shit all over the walls and seats of the public toilet, thinking, "oh, its the janitor's job to clean it," like an asshole.

Control your children and don't be an inconsiderate ass. 

Ps. when parents later say, "sorry about the mess guys," when there is go food all over the floor under their table, around their table, and a bit under the neighbouring tables...

I use make up every time I step foot outside. Well, a tiny bit less lately, but still pretty much everyday. My usual routine is just eyeliner and... does lip balm count? The winter is messing up my lips real bad. Anywho, I decided to ask Denne some make up questions to see how much my boyfriend knows about make up.

What do you use foundation for?

Denne: "Your face... "

Me: "Yeah, but what specifically"

Denne: "to put other make up on top of your face"

What is a primer?: 

Denne: "You put that on top of the foundation ... uh, to enhance... to make your skin lighter"

What do you use a toner for?: 

Denne: "Make it more brown!"

Where is your crease?:

Denne: "uhhhhh *laughs* WHAT? ..... uhhhh my forehead" 

What is a beauty blender used for? 

Denne: "uhhh i guess to smooth out theee... the fucking blusher of whatever"

What is a bronzer?

Denne: "makes your skin browner"

Me: "Kinda, yess and kinda no, Its for contouring your face, or just can just use it to make your face look more tanned"

What do you used to make your eyelashes curly?

Denne: "eye lash curler?"

Do you know the difference between a lip gloss and lip balm?:

Denne: "uuhh, I guess one is for your dry lips and one for your shiny lips"

I had the biggest laugh tonight, it was hilarious.

I've just gotten home from a trip to Vietnam. It was ahh, a lot of things to say and that would be for another time since it is late. After returning, things have been different. A pretty amazing different tbh. Everyday i feel really loved an appreciated for the things I do. Things really has changed for the better after we took some time apart that I just want to keep working together with him to improve our relationship. It feels as though the three weeks apart has really loosened things up for us.. I have become a lot more patient and my temper is a lot better. I'm able to enjoy Denne's cheekiness and playfulness a lot more. It feels as though we have gone over quite a few rough spots and we have been able to open up more. I guess with understanding comes compassion? I appreciate his efforts so much I just want to spoil the living shit out of him. 

P.S, hes become quite the beast hahas. 

Sometimes I just can't help but feel so little and so hopeless. No matter what I do, I can't make things better. No matter what I try, how much time and effort I put into it, things stay the same. I can't help but feel so useless and purposeless. As though I have no significance what so ever. I'm probably just not good enough to achieve anything, and I just haven't come to accept it yet...

I just want things to get better, so that we can live happily together.

When people suddenly pull out their bloody headsets, without remembering that their webcam mic is a MOTHER FUCKING LOT more sensitive then their fucking headset mic. You get your ear blown off, and a ring in your head for the fucking hundredth time and they get mad because you explained (for the hundredth fucking time as well) why it fucking hurts. Like dude, the headset mic is so fucking low, that I need to turn you up from 1 notch (which is for the webcam mic) to a freaken 3 or 4, just to hear you ok. Mind you, 1 is already freaken loud for the webcam mic. So for the love of god and for the health of my eardrums, a fucking warning PLEASE.