Honestly. Sometimes I just want to tell this certain person to fuck off. It's not that I hate you. I just fucking hate the fact that you only ever  bother to contact him whenever you have ABSOLUTELY NO ONE LEFT TO TURN TO! Not a single fuck is given about this human being until you're alone. I don't use people as a last resort. It makes me so fucking angry. Don't use the people I love just for your fucking convenience. 

"Just fuck off"

You're really a fool... treasure yourself more. Not only for your sake

Late as fuck post. I had an idea of what I wanted to write in the beginning but I completely went off course. 

Denne and I had a really intimate moment yesterday. After we talked things out, we just chilled and watched videos on youtube. I couldn't help but stare at him and zone out. I started to feel the butterflies in my stomach as he slowly shifted his gaze from the screen to me. Our eyes locked and we exchanged smiles. I nervously looked away for a second to contain my composure, but something about the mood made me look back at him. From there, it felt as though something was slowly pulling us together. Neither of us said a thing, but we seem to know exactly what to do. It took just a few seconds for our lips to lock, though to felt like an eternity. Every second made my heart be faster. We both took our time, kissing each other slowly and gently. It felt as though the flames were rekindled. Every breath he took, every second we were close made the butterflies flutter even stronger. We haven't kissed much at all lately. I can't remember the last time that we kissed like that. Its been so long since my heart has raced that fast. I haven't felt so flustered for such a long time. I didn't want to let go of him. I just wanted to stay in his arms and listen to his heart beat as I fall asleep.  

I don't know what I'm saying anymore lol. 

No matter what happens, somehow, we will always find our way back.

"Treasure what you have before you lose it," is a pretty common english saying. I don't think there is anything more true than that (there probably is something a fuck tonne more true lol). There is a similar Buddhist teaching to this. Essentially, it says, "Learn to appreciate and treasure the things that are currently in your possession. If you appreciate, treasure and pay more attention to what you desire but do not yet have, not only will you undervalue what you have now, you can also risk losing it. Once you lose it, you will experience suffering (grief/sadness etc). So don't keep your eyes fixed on what was and what could be, focus on what is."

Work hard today for a better tomorrow 

Life can be difficult. Our parents are probably sitting there shaking their heads and facepalming as we- the young adults of the 21st century - complain about life being difficult. For kids that are currently living in a country that isn't of their parent's origins, obviously our parents lives were bloody difficult. They had to go to a completely different country with no understand of what the fuck is going on. Not understanding the language,  the culture and the way of living in a completely foreign country where you have no bloody idea wtf ANYONE is saying is terrifying to me. I believe it would have been for them, though I can yet to fathom the extent of these stresses. I find university difficult, even though I have been speaking and studying english for all my life, yet my dad managed to go through university with relative ease (accord to him) when he had only had 2 years of english under his wing (armpit). How... wow

We kiddies obviously did not have it as hard as our parents, however, I don't feel as though that gives them the right to belittle our stresses.  For a good majority of us kiddies, being smashed in the face with having to decide what we will have to do for the rest of our lives is really bloody daunting. We are giving so many different messages. We are told to follow our dreams and do what makes us happy, yet we are also told that it is rare for people to succeed doing it that way and that we should go to a job that gives a certain amount of money. Its hard to decide which side to choose. Both gives a reason to why the other is bad and why it is good. Both makes sense and both have its pros and cons. 

Stumped...

Looking into the future frightens me.

Hang on tight.

We were fishing today when a meteor decided to smash into our atmosphere and go down burning. It was the first time Denne saw a shooting star, he seemed quite excited. I quickly made a wish and we continued on with our day. Honestly, even though I know exactly how it works, I still amazes me. I have to admit. It was beautiful, despite the fact that it only lasted for a second or so. It flew down from the sky, catching fire and achieving a tail that transitioned from white to red then to blue

I started to read a bit of manga again, just here and there, but my lord the butterflies. Iunno, I've always had a thing for manga guys.. bloody oath I sound like a creepy. Romance manga really tickle my fancy. The tears flow and the butterflies flutter. My heart can't take this x-x I guess the reason I loved (and love) reading romance manga is to experience the butterflies again. Its quite an addicting feeling to be honest, and its not like we can feel it often in daily life, so yay, MANGA! Maybe I'm a bit too good at putting myself into the story, hence every scene feels as though I'm being swept off my feet. Haven't gotten to feel it in real life for over a year or so. Completely forgot what it felt like. This post just got really weird ...

Nowaki... aaahhhhh... aahhhhhhhfag ldfjghsf

Leo being tame... ghhksjhlfgjfhg how is it possible for something to be so cute...