Rekindling the flames
Sometimes during relationships, it can feel as though the flames are just slowly dying down. Its a given for all relationships to begin with, its normal for the high of a new relationship to cool down and it is normal for a couple to become comfortable. However, when arguments, disagreements and fights are involved, it really takes a massive toll. Intimacy slowly fades away, along with the passion (and smexy time) to welcome in anger and despise. Its hard to repair these things ... really really hard. Sometimes you just want to tell the other person to fuck off and just end it. Sometimes you are completely clueless on what actions are needed in order to take a step in the right direction. Its hard to not be clouded in the negative aspects, and with that, it just drags your motivation to continue down even further than it already is.
I started trying to put more effort into bettering myself, not only for our relationship, but for me as well. After having some time to myself to reflect, I decided that I will concentrate on being less critical of Denne and to work on my temper. Being patient wasn't enough since I always eventually become frustrated.
We have been able to communicate more efficiently lately. Just the two of us, sitting down, talking. No anger, no frustration, no blaming. We were able to go through a lot of things and come to understand things that are way overdue. We were able to tell each other how things have made us feel and how we would like things to be dealt with. We were able to tell each other why we reacted the way we did to things. Every time we finish one of these conversations, we cant help but want be within each other's embrace. We hug each other tightly and remind each other how much we really do want it to work. We remind each other how much we treasure and love each other. Things are looking up. I'm excited to see where it goes.
Late as fuck post. I had an idea of what I wanted to write in the beginning but I completely went off course.
Denne and I had a really intimate moment yesterday. After we talked things out, we just chilled and watched videos on youtube. I couldn't help but stare at him and zone out. I started to feel the butterflies in my stomach as he slowly shifted his gaze from the screen to me. Our eyes locked and we exchanged smiles. I nervously looked away for a second to contain my composure, but something about the mood made me look back at him. From there, it felt as though something was slowly pulling us together. Neither of us said a thing, but we seem to know exactly what to do. It took just a few seconds for our lips to lock, though to felt like an eternity. Every second made my heart be faster. We both took our time, kissing each other slowly and gently. It felt as though the flames were rekindled. Every breath he took, every second we were close made the butterflies flutter even stronger. We haven't kissed much at all lately. I can't remember the last time that we kissed like that. Its been so long since my heart has raced that fast. I haven't felt so flustered for such a long time. I didn't want to let go of him. I just wanted to stay in his arms and listen to his heart beat as I fall asleep.
I don't know what I'm saying anymore lol.
No matter what happens, somehow, we will always find our way back.
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