Reaching for Clear Skies

Welp, that was a waste of time. Instead of waiting at the restaurant I decided to go home by bus to get ready since Denne wanted me to "dress up" and stuff. So went home, showered, shaved, added colour to my hair, the whole package. Did my make up and what not to get ready to go. An hour =D was wasted... Really annoyed to be honest since I put time out to celebrate your 10 months, even though I have 2 exams this weekend. As a matter of fact, I dont even know if I can pass one of them. Welp, time to crawl in a ball on my bed and cry all this shit out so I'm no longer overwhelmed so that I can study and not sleep for a few days =D

Yay to anxiety atttaaaaaaaaaackk .-. fuck you anxiety =D

Its been a while since Hiro died. I find it weird that I still haven't gotten over it yet. Not completely that is. Whenever I think about it, I really did get attached to the little guy really hard and really fast. Jesus that sounded wrong LOL. Here and then I find myself reminiscing about the past. Whenever Hiro comes up, I start remembering everything and I eventually start tearing up. I wish I could go back in time and stopped it from happening. How nice would that be

Welp, Uni has been getting super busy. Everything is so overwhelming that I always feel so lost. Sometimes I just really need a big and long hug. I just continually feel as though I'm not good enough. It's as though I need constant validation. I have this little thing I tend to do... I get overwhelmed, then sit on my bed and cry to myself =D Cry it all out then get back to work. YAY

 I haven't done the things I loved in such a long time. I can't do much at all I feel so suffocated. The other day I saw Anne with a photo of all the new clothes she bought. Its sad to say, but I was a bit envious of her. I haven't gone shopping for myself here in Aus for a while. Been wearing the same old shit every single day. I haven't played pool for almost half a year now. The things I give just to be able to play again. I haven't hung with anyone other than Denne for such a long time. Sometimes I just want to go somewhere. Just fucking somewhere please. I just want to relax so much its insane.

Welp, maybe I should stop complaining. I'm blessed to be able to have a good education anyways. Seems like I gotta say bye to my social life and my sanity for a few years. 

I feel as though I've changed a lot cause of uni Lol. I sometimes wonder why I bother open up to people. So many times that a guy gets all friendly and close, then avoids me when he finds out that I have a boyfriend. At least 10 already. Ain't that nice. When I try and meet up with "Friends
, they always say theyre busy. When I try to find something that fits into both our schedules, they're too lazy.... Thanks mate. Judged badly cause I'm bi. ohhHOHOHOH (imagine in a french type tone LOL) Fuck yourself =D. I'm apparently not a good person because I have "unnaturally" dyed hair, want more piercings and a tattoo. Well you people, go fuck yourselves =D I'll sponsor a dildo for you to do so =)

End of my mid night rant =D

Finally out of my system, yay?

Well, I'm back? Its been a while. Lately I have been so busy that it is just cray cray. So, lets have an update. ^^

Well, I've gotten into the university of my dreams. Although it might not mean much to anyone, but I am so happy I got accepted. I bombed grade 12 so bad, and I'm grateful to be where I am. I got accepted into the University of Queensland! YAY. I'm doing a full time bachelor of Science Degree, hoping to major in zoology/ecology and be a field researcher. I've been so damn tired ever since I started.

I've found that I rarely have anytime to do anything other than study. I go to Uni, I study my ass off, and then go home, clean up and help around the house, then study more. Even on days like Monday where I have 2 lectures in the morning (total of 2 hours) and then a 4 hour break until my last lecture at 2pm, I woddle to the Biological Sciences Library to study for that whole break. And even though I do that, when I get home (on monday) I still need to study since I have a 9am-8pm day on tuesdays. Since Tuesdays have 2 practicals, I need to memories things for the prelab tests. So that means...

Breaks = study

Home = study

Weekend = work and study

Bus ride = study or sleep

Eating at Cafeteria = study 

Isn't that beautiful .-.

I've noticed that I've been drinking a LOT of English breakfast tea lately. Not to mention a decent amount of coffee and red bull. Though they aren't anywhere near as much. I even asked dad to spare me some coffee cups so that I can drink some on the morning on the bus .-. 

I've also been listening to a LOT of Yiruma lately! Its nice study music =D

Welp, anywho, back to study.

Thats an small update, I got pre-tutorial work to do for tmrw. 

OMFG THERE IS ONLY 3 DAYS LEFT TIL VIETNAM TRIP

I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED.

I have a thing for reading zodiac things. Not necessarily because I believe in them, I just get a buzz from when things are so similar that I go "WHAT THE FFUUUUUUCK" in amazement.  There is this post I read on sign comparability.

Correct

"WTF HOLLY SHIT" Correct

The Leo and Libra is one of the easier associations. They both love even the thought of romance but while Leo concentrates on ‘me’ factor, Libra believes in ‘we’ and is usually ready to adjust according to the mate. They both feel strong tie with mutual trust and smooth communication in their relationship. 

Leo man is proud and quite passionate about everything. His need to be in the spotlight and in control is basic because this is the route to his generosity, his loyalty and his compassion. This stems from the courage and sensuality that makes up this Leo man, hence the need for compliments. This fuels his courage and therefore makes him more generous and affectionate as well as an amazing lover. His loyalty and grace are more predominant after marriage as it gives him more stability and something to protect which, in turn, strengthens him even more.

Libra woman is a strong and graceful lady with the most delightful and mesmerizing smile. She is charming and has a rare beauty that clouds her dominating skills and elegant force that leads her in getting what she wants. She is a sweet, appealing and pleasant woman masked with a smooth style that enables her to pounce when her predator gets close. Resistance is futile against her clever and indisputable logic. A Libra woman always respects and loves her man with the deepest and purest feelings. She loves to praise her man and always stays besides him in all walks of life. 

Leo man is effortlessly smitten by Libra woman and her beauty as well as being taken by her ability to graciously praise him and make him feel special. They share a strong union as well as separate interests, in love, careers and independence. While Libra woman is able to take lightly her failures in life, Leo man is not. He is not prone to failure and does not tolerate such antics (you know its true somethings Denne). Libra woman is in love with the idea of a mutual partnership. She is a strong spirited and highly intelligent woman who joins forces and keeps harmony with someone she feels equal to. Libra woman seldom relates with anyone she feels is beneath her. She is in love with the idea of a partnership therefore making her perfect material for marriage. Any Leo man is usually happy in marriage with Libra woman as he is able to protect her and control a more stable relationship.

Libra woman feels magnetically attracted towards a Leo man who is so masculine and charming in his persona. He makes her get weak in her knees and his passion for romance drives her crazy. They both share a great bond once they are together as Leo man knows how to treat a lady and Libra woman loves to be treated that way. He spoils his charming Libra lady with gifts, flowers, compliments and exotic vacations. Their financial relationship is much the same to one as it is to the other. There is no real problem with Leo man and Libra woman in this area. He spends his money just the way he wants to and so does she. She is calm when he tries his nonsensical antics with her, but then turns around and blow up at the same behavior the next time. But the Leo man can simply smile and use his noble charm in appeasing her.

The lovely relationship of Leo man and Libra woman is one of a kind romantic with sweet blend of understanding and acceptance. He makes his lady feel pampered with his warm and cozy ways and she melts him down with her words and brilliant smile. His strong words make her feel relaxed and her tinkling laughter gives him a better reason to start a new day. They can do and achieve anything together with no arguments to stand forever. They both enjoy the sunlight and the breeze and snow brings another romantic evening for them to spend in each other’s arms. Flowers have a greater meaning and expression for their love and promises stand to be fulfilled and kept till death do them apart!

The Air of the Libra woman feeds the Fire of her Leo man quite harmoniously in their love making (lol ;P). Sexually, Leo man and Libra woman are compatible as long as they are both in the mood. If she needs her Leo man on a night he is particularly tired or out of it, she is being inconsiderate and clingy. If his libido is high and it is an off night for her, it is a normal and natural way of a relationship for her to give in to his needs (ahem Denne...). Other than that, they can expect to make beautiful love together. Libra woman needs a lot of romance and her Leo man is well equipped to provide that for her. He is relaxed and slow going with his sensual passion, giving her the time and advantage to soak it all in before the fire intensifies. She, in turn, is highly receptive to his intense passion and need for affection and she always gives him the authority in their love making. Besides a few problem areas in their relationship, the Leo man and Libra woman flow well together, giving what the other one needs and receiving just what they desire.

Usually the relationship of Leo man and Libra woman is a peaceful one except for a few things that can cause small tiffs at times. The only possible problem to consider in this relationship is that Leo man finds a good reason for everything he buys regardless of how impractical or useless it may be (YOU KNOW ITS TRUE!) while he finds his Libra woman spending on pure junk. This would upset any other woman to tears in having to deal with such a selfish and inconsiderate Leo man, but the strong minded Libra woman generally deals with smiles. She is charming and always teaches him whether he is aware of it or not. As long as she can continue to go along with his bouts of dominance in money and career, there is peace and harmony. With the charm of the Libra woman and passion of the Leo man, this relationship will always be exciting in one aspect or another.

That article is pretty much neaaaarr perfect of what our relationship is like. So many of the parts made me laugh so hard and say, "yep, that's definitely us," or,"Deeennnnnnnneee~."

It seems as though Denne also saw more of the little bits to our relationship because of the article. What made me think this? Well, after staring at his figure for a while today, I asked him to stand up so that I  could see  him better (we haven't webcam-ed much for a while since Denne's computer only recently got fixed). I kept saying that he makes me drool even though we already did our "stuff" today. I kept complimenting him and I could see a slight smile every single time. He looks so damn happy every single time that I just sdghjksaghadkjfghfdjkhg. I asked, "you really like it when I compliment you hey?"  

The faggot EVENTUALLY replied with, "Yeah, I'm a Leo after all ^^"

Welp, that was our adventure today.

Also... I GOT INTO UQ!!! OMFG!!! UNIVERSITY OF MOTHER FUCKING QUEENSLAND HERE I COME! I'm so excited, yet completely petrified at the same time... I had a little panic/anxiety attack when I started enrolling online... I had to stop half way. Stupid me had to get completely freaked out to the point where I started crying (facepalm). Yeah, I get distressed REALLY easily. That is something that most people don't know about me.

I hope the future treats me well. Either way, I'm going to try my best ^^ 

I can honestly say that I already knew that after a certain point in time, things change. Dispite that, I hate how much it hurts. Seems as though I'm gonna have to go through what happened in my past all over again (YAY) 

Made Denne Sashimi yesterday since we was 

craving it from when we went to eat at Fusion

Anywho, shitting and tiring day. There was nothing at home to eat, so I starved for the day (yay). There was cereal. However that fucked up because I found out the milk was off. Found out the worst way possible lol... I put the cereal in my mouth and it was .... sour.. and arugh.... It wasn't pleasant at all. So I proceeded to continue the day on my stomach, drinking lots of water. and planning things out. I wrote a few recipes in my blue diary/book thing in case Denne wanted to eat something today. Cleaned up around the house. Spam Spray the fuck out of holes in the wall that the ants dug out. Then went into my room and chilled in front of the fan since I was getting dizzy and light headed from not eating. Mummy got home and asked me to wash some cherries for her. I did so and sat laid dead next to her and my little brother as mum reads stories on her Ipad. 

Denne got home and I run out to his car. Denne took a while to decide what to eat. He suggested pho at Inala. Considering the fact that we are going Vietnam in 10 days and also that my family owns a restaurant, I wasn't very into the idea of having Viet food. So we went to Woolies and Denne decided he wanted spaghetti. I remember I had a recipe in my book that I developed for lasagna. I decided to ulter the bolognese sauce for dinner. 

After cooking, finally ate a little before 8pm. Its amazing I even lasted.  Dennes mum kept going in and out of the kitchen saying things like, "you're always cooking while that lazy monkey is enjoying himself playing games in his room. Someone's fortunate (in a tone where its like - Someones *fucking* fortunate)." Welp

Found out that you can see your offers for uni. But I can't get in and I'm stressed out as shit. Anxiety is a bitch and never helps the situation sigh. Somethings I hate how I'm built.

I gained 7 kgs since the beginning od my relationship with Denne. I know that I have been letting myself go a lot, and I feel the need to get my shit back. Just you wait you faggot. Planning to go back down to an american size zero. Just hope my ass is better this time around LOL XD Gonna tighten my stomach,, get my waist back to 22-23 inches! 

WELP, on with the blog xD

Since Denne is Mr. Anime Obsessed, I'm gonna make him an Omurice. I think the middle one on the top is most fitting. LOL jokes.

OMG THERE IS 12 DAYS LEFT UNTIL VIETNAM TRIP!!!!!