Welp, that was a waste of time. Instead of waiting at the restaurant I decided to go home by bus to get ready since Denne wanted me to "dress up" and stuff. So went home, showered, shaved, added colour to my hair, the whole package. Did my make up and what not to get ready to go. An hour =D was wasted... Really annoyed to be honest since I put time out to celebrate your 10 months, even though I have 2 exams this weekend. As a matter of fact, I dont even know if I can pass one of them. Welp, time to crawl in a ball on my bed and cry all this shit out so I'm no longer overwhelmed so that I can study and not sleep for a few days =D

Yay to anxiety atttaaaaaaaaaackk .-. fuck you anxiety =D

Its been a while since Hiro died. I find it weird that I still haven't gotten over it yet. Not completely that is. Whenever I think about it, I really did get attached to the little guy really hard and really fast. Jesus that sounded wrong LOL. Here and then I find myself reminiscing about the past. Whenever Hiro comes up, I start remembering everything and I eventually start tearing up. I wish I could go back in time and stopped it from happening. How nice would that be

Welp, Uni has been getting super busy. Everything is so overwhelming that I always feel so lost. Sometimes I just really need a big and long hug. I just continually feel as though I'm not good enough. It's as though I need constant validation. I have this little thing I tend to do... I get overwhelmed, then sit on my bed and cry to myself =D Cry it all out then get back to work. YAY

 I haven't done the things I loved in such a long time. I can't do much at all I feel so suffocated. The other day I saw Anne with a photo of all the new clothes she bought. Its sad to say, but I was a bit envious of her. I haven't gone shopping for myself here in Aus for a while. Been wearing the same old shit every single day. I haven't played pool for almost half a year now. The things I give just to be able to play again. I haven't hung with anyone other than Denne for such a long time. Sometimes I just want to go somewhere. Just fucking somewhere please. I just want to relax so much its insane.

Welp, maybe I should stop complaining. I'm blessed to be able to have a good education anyways. Seems like I gotta say bye to my social life and my sanity for a few years. 

I feel as though I've changed a lot cause of uni Lol. I sometimes wonder why I bother open up to people. So many times that a guy gets all friendly and close, then avoids me when he finds out that I have a boyfriend. At least 10 already. Ain't that nice. When I try and meet up with "Friends
, they always say theyre busy. When I try to find something that fits into both our schedules, they're too lazy.... Thanks mate. Judged badly cause I'm bi. ohhHOHOHOH (imagine in a french type tone LOL) Fuck yourself =D. I'm apparently not a good person because I have "unnaturally" dyed hair, want more piercings and a tattoo. Well you people, go fuck yourselves =D I'll sponsor a dildo for you to do so =)

End of my mid night rant =D

Finally out of my system, yay?