I may seem fine about Hiro's death, but honestly when I think about him, I just start to cry. Although I may not know the feeling, but Hiro was like my baby, and this loss was like losing my baby. Its the same with Denne too. Denne read my blog about Hiro, and he started to tear up. I've never seen him cry or tear up about anything other than when nearly broke up after the first week together due to our personalities clashing. I've seen Denne tear up at least 3 times over the past 2 days. I have a feeling there were more. Many times his eyes got watery, but not enough for tears to fall. It seems as though Denne is holding back, trying not to cry. He tries everything possible to not mention or have anything to do with it, so that I don't start to cry. Hiro must have meant so much to him, and I can see that he regrets not playing with Hiro as much during the last month he was alive. There were so many times where I was just like, "Hiro... please come back, don't leave us like that." 

I know people will be saying, "dude its just a cat, get over it" or "life doesn't stop for anyone." I know there will be insensitive people out there that just think "Get over it sheesh", but I don't give a flying fuck. Hiro meant so much to me. Just sitting there on the porch, with him laying on his back in my arms and lap, whilst I sat in between Dennes legs. The days where we spent time as a family, playing, cuddling, snuggling and rubbing. I honestly never felt so happy with something so simple. The highlights of my relationship with Denne consist of memories with him and Hiro. Our little baby was the symbol of the beginning of our relationship. He was only 9 months old... he was still only a kitten, yet...

Hiro, baby... I'm so sorry I let that happen to you. I'm so sorry that you died in such a horrible way.  To think of how much pain you felt before you died. I'm so sorry I couldn't take care of you. I'm so sorry Hiro. I wish I could have given you a better life. I'm so sorry. I love you so much.

Hiro 

13th June 2013 - 26th October 2013

 

 Haha look at those adorable little paws. I love it when he lay in my lap like that for a back rub or a full body rub. I love how he purs so easily, and meows when he wants food. How he gives you the, "I'll love you and make you OD from my cuteness," face when he wants something. I've never met a cat that is so mellow. So much like Denne in so many ways. So retarded, derpy and mellow. Is cool with almost anything. Doesn't claw your face and cut it you into a million pieces when you pick him up. Never bit or scratched me (after the first day). Is so calm and ok when being picked up by simon. Being ok with me putting him on his back and scratching his stomach.

I'll miss the times where he was on his back and I was holding him like usual (like a baby on my lap). With one side of his face on my boob and the other on my arm, he would put his paw gently on my face and slightly move it up and down as i scratched his favourite places. He would give me such a cute ^~^ expression that I just dfjghsdjfghskjdfgh over. And the second I stop he looks at me and pets my face saying that he wants more... fuck I miss you Hiro... I've been crying for at least a hour lol. How long has it been since I've done that.