We just got through a really rough period in our relationship. Things clashed and things dented. There were times where we just wanted to rip each other's face off. Now that we are picking the pieces up again, now that we're learning to support each other and care for each other's vulnerabilities, I guess its safe for me to say that I really do love the faggot from the bottom of my heart. Not the "oh baby I love you," shit that you say a day into the relationship, but the, "I love you, even though sometimes I want to murder you, I love you and I want to work this out."

After getting back, it seems as though we rarely ever take each other for granted anymore. Its actually a lot easier than you think it is. Taking someone for granted isn't hard. In fact, its a shit tone harder to realise you're actually doing than it is to do it. It's as though I'm experiencing all those feelings all over again. The butterflies with the simplest of touches, and the excitement of just the anticipation of chilling with him.... not to mention the sfjghljvnajghwruign fangirl moment when he is topless .-.

  (If you're reading this... bitch I know what smile you have on atm , mother fucker you cant fool me lol)

It's just those simple moments when we're in bed with his arms wrapped around me, as caresses my hair and kisses my head. I get the butteries. It's just hard to think anything else but, "This (feeling)  is why I love him"

Lol honest, 1.50am and I don't even know if I'm making any sense, Just needed to get it out .-.

I now remember why I don't hang with those types of people anymore. Its because its annoying being around people who have no consideration of other people. Its annoying being around people who give you shit for caring about something you care about and question you like douche. I don't fancy the way they "have fun", so so so much I can so, but I shall never bother again. I don't give a damn about, "popular people". The quiet, timid people seem to be cooler to associate with. The complete opposite to the "normal" people these days.

Never really been good with dealing with disappointment. Its like being lifted up to cloud nine, then kicked on the face all the way down back to earth (yay). Who enjoys that? It's just that I'm particularly bad at handling it. Doesn't help much that Denne's family is ... how do I say this? They don't take no for an answer. Once they take you somewhere, you're not going home until they say you can. 

Example. Whilst we were at vietnam, they forced us to visit them. I understand that they want to Denne and what not, but they didn't take no for an answer. It was tet and we planned to stay with my family and fully experience the culture. Welp, instead we for-filled their wish and come over. We said we needed to be home at 6 because we had plans. Did that matter? Nope, they didn't give a shit. Instead of taking us home in their car, they took us around town and to a restaurant. Did they give a shit about our opinion and plans? Nope =D not a shit given. This happened every single time that we met them. 

Welp, some of Denne's family from Viet Nam and NSW came up and they decided to go on a road trip. It went from going for 2 days 1 night, to 3 days 2 nights. This was decided while they were making their way to their destination. (yay). Then after they were about to go home, they decided to go to stop at placed... then after that they decided to go eat dinner. 

So instead of seeing him in the afternoon, threes probably not even a chance to see him tonight (yay)

I guess this is mother nature's way of fuckign with me and saying, "bitch, here's your chance to get used to it =D" 

Gomen, kitty was being difficult.

We just resolved one of those big big fights where splitting up wasn't an irrational resolution. All is good and well, but we need to work a bit harder towards each other's quirks and weaknesses. This song really hit home for me. John legend (as always <3 fjhgdksjfgh)! The lyrics really made got me thinking. We both are just ordinary people. We have our ups, we have our downs. We have fears that the other just can't come to understand or a sense of assurance that can seem irrational. We both make mistakes and we both hurt each other more than anyone else in our lives can. At the end of the day, after all the anger, the bitterness and tears subside, we love each other. "we both still got room left to grow", I'll still put you first, and we'll make it work. You're my leo after all. No one can satisfy you more than kitty right? ^^

The day after the fight was over, Denne is going away with his family for 3 or so days. Honestly, it made me feel so anxious. I know I shouldn't be but my past experiences really don't work in my favour do they. After actually thinking about it, its going to be the longest time we are away from each other lol. Coughitsonly3dayscough*

I hope you enjoyed the new fishing gear. You better not waste my money and not get any fish (lol jks). With a hook that big I wouldn't be surprised if you got a freaken shark .-. Don't get dragged in now.

I love you dearly

Men can be quite cruel. Their obliviousness towards everything have the ability hurt to such an extent that they themselve cannot even begin to understand. Well, what can you do about it?

I just can't meet all of your fucking standards. I can't fucking give you what you want of me. I'm fucking sorry that I can't give you perfection even when I strive for it with all my might.