This holidays I've spent with my Dennepoop! <3 Everyday its been,
"I miss yoouuu... I wish you were here."
A run down on what happened this week.
- Denne got a job again
- Monday after work, Denne dropped by for an hour Tuesday, went to Kevin's house with Denne and ate a pizza each
Wednesday, tutor from 5-9
Thursday, movies with Denne, took Bich ly (ex's sister) and her friend because shes been constantly asking for weeks... and my messed up squishy nature can't say no .-.Friday, boyfriend took me out to cheer me up after traumatic experience. Went pool and ate a DELICIOUS steak
- Today, at around 1, Denne's mum asked him to invite me over to each the pho she made. (feels so happy that she likes me) So went to Dennes house and chilled til about 8.45 =3 Damn.. an amazing.. amazing.. day ^~^
A week full of happiness at every turn! ^~^ Never knew falling asleep in his arms is so relaxing, fell asleep within a few minutes rather than hours. I can honestly say, I'm happy. I can honestly say that I'm glad I went through so much pain, because if this was what was on the other side, then it was DEFINATELY worth it!
I love you
愛してる
Aishiteru
4:16 AM
Posted by
LienhhlovessyhuuXx
Finally that everything is now calmed down, I can finally blog about something that amused me a bit. Here we go.
You're nothing
Omae nande mo nai
I don't know what made you think that I care about what you do. I have a new loving boyfriend who spoils me in every single way I love to be, every time he sees me. Even though his presence is the only thing needed for me to smile. Although we have schedules that clashes a lot, we still make time and we still are damn happy. Yes, I loved you with all my heart at one point of my life, but no, that isn't now.
Don't get full of yourself
Umebore nai de yo.
Your existence is no longer significant. I loved you for your personality and your nature, I was attached to that, not your looks. The second that I saw you change was the second that I had nothing left for you. I'm not getting into your business, your business is not even worth looking at.
You're so arrogant
Omae wa gouman da na
Why must my limited time be spent stressing over something worthless? So please, get over yourself. I'm more than happy with my life where your existence is not present. Once again, You're absolutely nothing. I don't even bat my eye to your presence,
Aho
lol
lol
10:34 AM
Posted by
LienhhlovessyhuuXx
ごめんなさい
Gomen'nasai
No matter what I did, I couldn't stop from you Over Dosing. Even with everything I had, I couldn't convince you in the end. I saw that you hesitated, but still, you did it. I'm sorry I failed you as a friend... I'm sorry that what I did was not enough to stop you... I tried everything I could, yet I couldn't stop you. I stayed up just in case something happened, it seems as if my hunch was right. I cut myself every time you did to try and stop you from hurting yourself... I lost control and had my first anxiety attack in months, and cried my eyes out, begging you to stop, trying to convince you that there is more to live for. But in the end it happened.
Now you're at the hospital, but being the horrible person I am, I couldn't find out what hospital you're to stand outside that room and make sure you're ok in the end. I'm sitting in my room feeling like I've just failed you as a friend. I'm sorry... Just please... be ok...
1:19 PM
Posted by
LienhhlovessyhuuXx
がらんどう
Garando
I'm so lost about how to feel, think and process.
I just experienced one of the worst things in my life... I hopelessly sat there on webcam with a friend I've know for years. I watched him basically, as he took 3 full boxes of pills. I couldn't do anything other than trying to convince him to stop. I delayed it for hours., I stayed up with him and comforted him until now.. but ultimately he took it... I don't know where he lives, I don't have a car and I don't know how to drive... I can't help him and I feel useless... A failure of a friend.
Please note: Lan, you don't mean anything to me. Please don't get me wrong. I don't care who you do and what you do. I only give a shit that my friend JUST OVER DOSED. Don't be full of yourself. You don't mean shit and you can't compare to Leo. All I care about now is that my friend is in deep shit, and if he doesn't get help soon, he will definitely die... I'm not keen on seeing a friend die....
12:31 PM
Posted by
LienhhlovessyhuuXx
私の心が痛いデス.
Watashi no shinzo ga ittai desu.
I know I said that its a bit hard on me that we can't see each other much because I bond through quality time... but for you so suggest such a thing... makes me wonder whether its really worth it? Is it worth it when you can suggest calling it quits so easy. But all I can do is keep it in and pretend it never happened. My chest hurts for many reasons tonight. Now that I'm free I can finally blog this freeing from earlier in the afternoon. The second I heard that line, my heart automatically pulled the walls up. So stupid ^^, jesus I'm so weak ^^. Ittai, Hontoni Ittai.
11:07 AM
Posted by
LienhhlovessyhuuXx
"I'll fly again... Just you watch, I'll become something amazing." - Squishy
Something I said, and something I promised to myself after I got heartbroken to the point where I thought my heart was unrepairable. The time when I thought that no one could treat me better than he could, that no one can make me feel like he did. I thought that I wouldn't be able to fall in love again. No matter how many guys, I most I ever felt was an interest, and the term "I love you" lost so much meaning.
But guess what? A few months later. ^~^
I'm now a better person. I'm more patient, understanding and free to be myself. I feel so passionately towards my new man and I can honestly say I love you. I want to spend every waking moment with him, and so does he, but we understand and give each other time to ourselves to send alone or with friends. We multitask between games, game call and skype call with each other. Raging and screaming in the middle of sentences without both sides giving a single fuck. I have taken back up a bit of drawing, and currently pondering whether I should seriously pick up Guitar or Raving. The most amazing feelings everyday. I have my wings back within only a few months, faster than I ever expected. All thanks to my lover and protector, Leo, and my true friends. No I'm not perfect, but I'm happy. That's what counts!
9:27 AM
Posted by
LienhhlovessyhuuXx
On monday night, Denne asked me to go out and eat with him on tuesday since its Cheaper tuesday. We ended up going to Kevin's house with his friends. Seven people, seven pizzas and a bucket of KFC. Gobbled up the pizza, lots of coke, then satisfied. I really like his friends, Happy Buddha (Hoa) is funny as hell, same with Vinh and Kevin. I honestly really do like them! They're dope as, lots of jokes, laughs all around. All i didn't really like was Jack. Yeah... I've heard of shit he said about me, hating me and calling me fake without knowing who the fuck I am. Like I always say, "Bitch, You may know my face, but you don't know my story. So go shove a pole up your ass and fuck yourself =3" Not to mention the shit he said about my man too. He won't say shit in front of us, and lets hope he doesn't. I may be little, but I'm protective as fuck of the people I treasure.
Anywho, we then chilled most of the rest of the night in Kevin's bed, just laying under the covers, falling asleep or whispering into each others ears. Hope no one thought we were doing anything suss gee .-. He keeps saying things that made me smile so much. More melting.... Here we go
"This is how I imagined things to be"
"I wish this moment would never end"
"I love you"
"Daisuki kitty"
Damn I can't remember anymore... so dead and out of it LOL tiiireeed. The moment reminded me of the photo i drew the other day.
The day was filled with happiness. It was so simple, just :
1. Stay at home looking after little brother
2. Hieu came over
3. The boyfriend coming over
4. The boyfriend did his hair up [... skipped a dew beats... damn his hair was.. ahh speechless ...]
5. Kevin's house, chill
6. Eat like a fucking pig
7. Chill in bed, cuddling and watching youtube with everyone
8. Home
Just so damn simple, yet, I wouldn't change a single bit. Just perfect and can't be happier.
8:52 AM
Posted by
LienhhlovessyhuuXx
