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Reaching For Clear Skies.

Friday, July 31, 2015

Ahri le cockatiel

I turns out that Ahri might actually be a boy T_T
YAY BIRDIE PUBERTY!!!! (not really)
She is starting her first molt. It is still going to take another month or two before she actually drops all her baby feathers for new big birdie feathers. The 4 or so tail feathers that have grown out are all solid grey ._. The baby feathers were barred so it is a pretty distinct difference. Ahri has also been REALLY attached to me. In the morning, Ahri wants to come out and play and just be ON me on way or another. I accidentally swung the cage door open when I took the night cover off her cage and didn't realise it happened before going back to sleep again. She ended up flopping to the ground, climbing my computer tower and then slowly making her way up my mattress just to plopping onto my face and chill. When I brush my teeth together with Ahri in the morning, shes always whistling. Shes whistling A CRAP TONNE! Shes copied quite a few sounds here and there. Her favourite sounds are a sucking sound, kissing sound and my samsung notification sound. Its a lot better than her screaming... SAhe whistles a lot more when Denne is around... Oh yeah, theres the beak banging and wing stretching.  Distinct courtship behaviour... fuck me ._.
4:52 AM Posted by LienhhlovessyhuuXx 0

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Restaurant Rant #1

Look after your mother fucking children. Yes, I understand that it is hard to make your child stop having a temper tantrum, stop them screaming or stop them from acting how. HOWEVER, when your child is running around opening every fridge door in the restaurant, running up and down the walk ways, throwing food left and right, ITS YOUR JOB AS A PARENT TO TEACH THEM NOT TO ACT LIKE A LITTLE SHIT! I can't even stop to count the amount of times a parent was on their phone, facebooking away whilst they have a big bowl within arms reach. Guess what happens? Oh my, the baby whacked it over. The amount of times where parents would let and infant eat by itself, and allow the infant to throw food within a one fucking metre radius. I understand if you do that at home, great, you can clean it up yourself. But what makes people think that it is ok for other to clean up the mess that you allow your child to make. It is our job to bring you food, but it doesn't mean you  make it hard on us. Be thoughtful, if you wouldn't like to clean up after some lazy asshole's disgusting child, then we wouldn't too, whether it is a part of our job or not. It's like you wouldn't shit and smear your shit all over the walls and seats of the public toilet, thinking, "oh, its the janitor's job to clean it," like an asshole.

Control your children and don't be an inconsiderate ass. 

Ps. when parents later say, "sorry about the mess guys," when there is go food all over the floor under their table, around their table, and a bit under the neighbouring tables...
*trying to smile* "its ok. thank you so much, have a nice day"

7:26 AM Posted by LienhhlovessyhuuXx 0

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Denne and Make Up

I use make up every time I step foot outside. Well, a tiny bit less lately, but still pretty much everyday. My usual routine is just eyeliner and... does lip balm count? The winter is messing up my lips real bad. Anywho, I decided to ask Denne some make up questions to see how much my boyfriend knows about make up.

What do you use foundation for?
Denne: "Your face... "
Me: "Yeah, but what specifically"
Denne: "to put other make up on top of your face"

What is a primer?: 
Denne: "You put that on top of the foundation ... uh, to enhance... to make your skin lighter"

What do you use a toner for?: 
Denne: "Make it more brown!"

Where is your crease?:
Denne: "uhhhhh *laughs* WHAT? ..... uhhhh my forehead" 

What is a beauty blender used for? 
Denne: "uhhh i guess to smooth out theee... the fucking blusher of whatever"

What is a bronzer?
Denne: "makes your skin browner"

Me: "Kinda, yess and kinda no, Its for contouring your face, or just can just use it to make your face look more tanned"

What do you used to make your eyelashes curly?
Denne: "eye lash curler?"


Do you know the difference between a lip gloss and lip balm?:
Denne: "uuhh, I guess one is for your dry lips and one for your shiny lips"

I had the biggest laugh tonight, it was hilarious.
6:55 AM Posted by LienhhlovessyhuuXx 0

Saturday, May 9, 2015

A Massive Step In The Right Direction

I've just gotten home from a trip to Vietnam. It was ahh, a lot of things to say and that would be for another time since it is late. After returning, things have been different. A pretty amazing different tbh. Everyday i feel really loved an appreciated for the things I do. Things really has changed for the better after we took some time apart that I just want to keep working together with him to improve our relationship. It feels as though the three weeks apart has really loosened things up for us.. I have become a lot more patient and my temper is a lot better. I'm able to enjoy Denne's cheekiness and playfulness a lot more. It feels as though we have gone over quite a few rough spots and we have been able to open up more. I guess with understanding comes compassion? I appreciate his efforts so much I just want to spoil the living shit out of him. 



P.S, hes become quite the beast hahas. 
7:50 AM Posted by LienhhlovessyhuuXx 0

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Little

Sometimes I just can't help but feel so little and so hopeless. No matter what I do, I can't make things better. No matter what I try, how much time and effort I put into it, things stay the same. I can't help but feel so useless and purposeless. As though I have no significance what so ever. I'm probably just not good enough to achieve anything, and I just haven't come to accept it yet...

I just want things to get better, so that we can live happily together.
6:47 AM Posted by LienhhlovessyhuuXx 0

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Give me a bloody warning ffs.

When people suddenly pull out their bloody headsets, without remembering that their webcam mic is a MOTHER FUCKING LOT more sensitive then their fucking headset mic. You get your ear blown off, and a ring in your head for the fucking hundredth time and they get mad because you explained (for the hundredth fucking time as well) why it fucking hurts. Like dude, the headset mic is so fucking low, that I need to turn you up from 1 notch (which is for the webcam mic) to a freaken 3 or 4, just to hear you ok. Mind you, 1 is already freaken loud for the webcam mic. So for the love of god and for the health of my eardrums, a fucking warning PLEASE.
7:28 AM Posted by LienhhlovessyhuuXx 0

Monday, March 30, 2015

Unconditional Love - Wondering Thoughts


Like the post from a few days ago, I really do think that unconditional love is the key to long lasting relationships. Independence, self-esteem, trust, and balance are also something that I treasure. However, I find it exceedingly difficult to find a balance without having to ask for things in return. Maybe it's because I care too much about it whilst it really isn't an issue for my boyfriend, but it never seems to be resolved. Even when talking it out, he also cannot come up with a resolution. 

To find balance, (unless the two people are completely in sync, which they mostly aren't), you need to have some wiggle room. Some space to have adjustments and to actively contribute. However, it doesn't work this way unless both parties are consciously putting in the thought to do so. It's not even about putting effort into it, its whether or not the need to wiggle is even noticed.

Then if one person is on a 7/10 in regards to attentiveness towards balance and the other isn't really phased by it and is at a 3/10, then it gets iffy. Again, it isn't that 3/10 means they don't give a shit, its just something they don't think is important. The one that is at the 7/10 doesn't end up feeling satisfied with the balance (balance can be in all regards of the relationship, not just whether or not needs are being met). The 3/10 can be left feeling overwhelmed by the demands of the other party and may in turn disengage from the relationship. So what can be done in such a situation? If a simple talk about the awareness could solve something like this, relationships would obviously be a piece of cake. Unfortunately, it isn't. Some people might just not give a shit, that situation, just gtfo before it gets worse. But most situations, that is just how they are by nature. Nothing in general really phases them. So....

"But is love enough to build a lasting relationship? And does unconditional love mean that no matter what your partner does, your feelings don't change?

The answer is no to both"

Just because you love the person, doesn't mean you'll stay together. If you cannot work something like this out, then you would either break up, or stay in a tug-o-war of a relationship. Either way, no-no's. 

"Unconditional love within the context of a relationship is a dance in which both partners participate."

"But... unconditional love within the context of lasting relationship requires lots of wiggle room. As part of self-love, you know your own personal boundaries and the limits of what you find to be acceptable and healthy behaviours and relations from your beloved.

It is your job in the relationship to 'use your influence in a caring and disciplined manner to create a balanced exchange with your partner. Such skills are not exercised to control or manipulate for selfish gain, but rather to maintain a mutually beneficial and satisfying partnership.

When both partners are aware of their personal boundaries, and are committed to communicating them in loving and non-threatening ways, then the relationship can continue to re calibrate and grow ever stronger over the years. With the ability to communicate openly, negotiate willingly, and compromise and make adjustments, you can build a strong relationship in which unconditional love develops and grows more satisfying over time."

To my understanding, there is a very fine line between that and plain old demanding and expecting. Simple, little actions that may not seem important can completely change the outcome. The article I got this quote from, really hows what can happen when we over-analyze past relationships to try and dig out 'mistakes' that we can possible 'fix' in the new relationship. This can just make us fall right back into the pattern of seeking someone to provide for your needs. 

Although over-analyzing things is within my nature, something that I probably can not completely get rid of no matter how hard I try, I need to make the thoughts of less importance and urgency. All I should really ask for is for him to actively try and work at it with me as we go on this journey together, whilst I try my best and be the best partner I can be for him. I have been improving myself and trying to become a better me, but I obviously still need some more soul searching. 

Maybe I might be a bit more selfish and ask him to be a bit more patient with me as I work on myself whilst I offer the same to him. Although our journey to discovering yourselves are not the same, hopefully I'll be able to be there to give you some support along the way as you are offering me. 

Ahhhhh. It's 1.20 and my train of though completely derailed. In the beginning, it was muddle of confused and puzzled thoughts, not knowing what to do. Not knowing what was right or wrong and not knowing which path would be best. However, in the end, my thoughts just took me to, "God I love him. He really does a lot for me." Maybe, I'm just trying too hard to try and figure out the solution to something that is as complicated as this. Maybe it would be better just to take it slow. Take some quality time together and talk it out, taking as many times as needed. Well, maybe we could do so tomorrow. Who knows.


No matter how exhausted I feel, just thinking of you and how much you mean to me makes me want to stand back up and keep going.
8:23 AM Posted by LienhhlovessyhuuXx 0