The exam for psychopathology is finished and there is only 1 more major assignment left. Though there are a few more assessments left, a lot of it is tying up loose ends and proof reading before submission. I'm grateful for being able to finish a small reflective paper early, as it makes it even easier. I will admit though, I did not have a fun time with that exam. After hearing feedback during the tutorials, seems like the majority did not like how the content was covered in the exam. Most mentioned that it was frustrating how it was very little about the therapy processes and underlying theories, and more about empirical studies and case studies. I too wished it was more about the therapies, which was what most of my knowledge was in. Considering that you're in the class to learn about the various available therapy methods, you'd think that's the majority of what they would test you on and then a bit on the effectiveness and related studies. Nope, it was the other way around :D It's a bit ridiculous to be asked the exact outcome of a study when you are presented with a couple of dozen papers throughout the course. Needless to say, that exam, although not weighted very heavily took the crap out of me.

It's been a few days since the exam, but I still feel exhausted. Exhausted is a bit of a basic term to explain how I currently feels. It's more accurate to say my mood and emotions are low. I feel "flat" or "eh". It's weird, considering anxiety is usually always there, but it feels like it's on vacay. I literally just sat there going through the 90 pages of data for my last major paper of this semester, without any feeling at all. No experience of anxiety or anything. I got lost constantly and at almost every turn, I did something wrong and wasted a bit of time where and there trying to extract about a page worth of relevant statistics. But not a single fuck was given. I got lost, I just looked at the handout again and just figured it out. Not a single fuck was given. I get I'm emphasing on it a lot, but holly shit I really could not give two fucks. Considering I have an anxiety disorder, it's so weird. I would usually panic with just ordering the same coffee I do everyday. I would go the long way to avoid all the university political groups coming at you with fliers like vultures. But today I just walked straight through, they ran out me and I just said, "I'm good mate." And when they kept going at it, I just looked them in the eye and said, "I'm not kidding, I'm good." Before they could peep another word, I just went, "no," and went about my day. Like what? whats happening with me lately LOL

I also don't feel the need for anything that I usually do. I don't feel the need to have a video or something on to keep my anxious mind distracted. I don't feel the need for comfort or contact with anyone. I don't feel the need to play Dota, nor do I feel the need for rewards after my study sets. Actually... I haven't even done study sets, I just sat down and did work. No type of gratification is poking at me to be fulfilled. I don't feel the need to have to talk with anyone either. 

#LowMood wooh