Motivation

After I got fucked over, I lost my motivation and drive for studying. Today's post I'm gonna be real honest.
If you can't handle it, and if you're gonna bitch or question me about my feelings towards the people I love/loved, then fuck you =3 shove a pole up your asses.

To be honest, the only reason I had so much drive in the beginning of grade 12 was because I had everything planned. I had everything set before me. Me and Lan planned to study into your courses,  Dental technology and Microbiology, both within the science field. We planned to live together after I graduated, working out way through life, buying pets, building the entertainment unit I designed and what not. Just the usual dream of a young adult, but more filled with games, massive sound systems and what not. Because I knew exactly what I wanted and what I was aiming for,  I worked my ass off for it. Monday to Friday, minimum 4 hours study. Most of the time it was the second I got home to 12, giving 1 hour spare to look for another job, with 2 hours of break for food, bath and what not. It was like that all weekday, then sunday, work from 9-5 for only 50  bucks. I dedicated every bit of energy I had to make things work.

After the dream was gone, I didn't really have anything to strive for. It was even hard for Denne to get me going. It really stressed me out. I knew what I wanted, I knew my goal, but I had nothing that I wanted enough to make me do things.

However, now, it seems as if I found something. The "Get-yo-shit-together" scheme .-. I know, lame. But me and Denne came with something that worked pre fucking well. Minimum of 3 hours a day studies, and my Denden would come over the next day. Happy Happy Happy

Even though it was 12 am when I started chem, 2 hours later and I got 750 words. Happy Happy Happy. Content with the 4 hours at tutor and 2 hours at home! Yee Fuck I love Denne so much ^~^ He makes everything better.  I really appreciate everything he does for me.