Auuuggghhhhh kmn
Yesterday was stressful as hell. It seems I can’t find my
USB which has every single assignment of mine. I got no backup (yay). Anywho, I
got to go to my chemistry tutor and see if she has it. I remember that I had to
with me to go Chemistry tutor across the street. I remember that I had it with
me, so it’s either going to be in my room or at tutor. There’s nowhere else
that it can be. I’ve searched up all of my room yesterday with Denne, and the
me that is stressed out to the point where I crack was finally out. I really
didn’t want Denne to see me like that and I did everything I could to prevent
it until yesterday. I was scared that he would get sick of me and what not.
Rather than reaction the way I thought he might of, he
helped me the whole time, no matter how much I tried to push him away and make
him go home (so that he doesn’t see that part of me to begin with). After hours
of searching, I gave up and just sat in my corner crying (lol I know, stfu I’m
weak). He just gentle wrapped his arms around me and pat me on the head. He
just sat there with me, wrapped the blanket around me and cuddled me. After
sitting in his lap on my bed, with the blanket covering us for hours, I began
to feel sleepy. We both fell asleep for a bit and both woke up as it was nearly
12 am. He kissed me good night, took his things, turned off the lights and went
home. He called me on skype afterwards and we both fell asleep together again.
Honestly, I think I’m so lucky to have him. He looks
after me so much, and doesn’t care about my ugly sides. He supports me so much,
no matter what it is for. I can’t wait until school finishes and I can cater to
him more. Right now it just feels like he’s looking after me as I try to
survive through this shit, and no matter how much he tries to convince me
otherwise, I think it’s extremely unfair. He makes me feel so safe, it’s
nothing I really ever felt before.
Life gets tougher and tougher the further I get through
grade 12, but Denne makes every moment worth living for. Without him, I don’t
even know if I’d still be here. I’ve gone pass my breaking points many times,
but he always makes it better. Whenever I feel as if I can’t do it anymore, I
look at the pendant he gave me. To me, it’s kind of a “You belong to me” thing.
Which in our book translates to “I’ll always protect you”.
0 comments: