I think it's incredibly easy to see an unwanted behaviour or trait from someone, and blame them for it. If we share our lives with someone, it's good to understand the underlying mechanisms of the person we love, not only for them, but for ourselves and the relationship as a whole as well. It's easy to blame something like 'clinginess' on the person that is demonstrating it, but its harder to try and understand why. Looking beyond just the behaviour, it may be because you are just not being diligent on meeting the needs of your partner for attention that they have to constantly seek it, or they may be having a bad day and need a pick me up. Granted, it may be a behavioural trait the individual has, regardless of the amount of attention you give them, but you can't understand unless you try to see it more than just purely how irritating or undesirable the behaviour is. There is ALWAYS a reason, and when there is a reason, there is room for growth and for improvement. 

I feel as though there will always be tiffs and arguments in a relationship because we always question why someone acts a certain way, without truly putting in the effort to discover the answer. 

"Why are you being like this? You are wrong (blame), I am right. Stop!"

This conversation doesn't allow you to grow, nor does it allow your partner or your relationship to grow. Growth within a relationship needs an open, healthy conversation about issues each side are experiencing, without blame and without anger or frustration. And with this open conversation, where both look beyond their emotions towards the behaviour, explore the reasoning behind the behaviour, and together come to a compromise on how to improve the issue at a health pace, a more loving and underatanding relationship is born.

Its more than just you. When you both live for the happiness and well-being of each other and your relationship, you will notice that happiness and well-being will naturally come to yourself as well.