Reaching for Clear Skies

Welp, today while I was at the restaurant for my little brother's 5th birthday. Since I didn't really have anything to do, I was looking on to Denne's phone as he read through facebook. I saw Anne's post saying something about, "the world doesn't revolve around you." Since shes said that a few times about her bf, I thought something was up, so I went onto her blog. When I went onto her blog, I was like "ok?" because I only saw something about how her boyfriend has changed (in a good way). I read through it anyways since there wasn't really anything else to do. Afterwards, I messaged her on facebook to see if she was ok and needed someone to talk to. She didn't reply, so I just thought, "Oh well, she can handle her own I guess?"

It took me maybe 20 ish minutes of total boredom to realize something. I just remembered about the blog I posted yesterday about my style and how a certain LG or two kept glaring me down after copying my hair. I kinda got glared at again by the same chick that day, and I was like, "Fuck this shit" and blogged it to vent. I looked at her blog again, and she had parts where she changed the colour of her font. I blogged about the way I blog when it came to quotations and colour changes. 

That moment, I was like,

 "fuck isn't this great. ==" 

But then I honestly didn't give a shit about explaining myself. I didn't see a point in explaining myself when there was no point in it. Even if I told her that it was a coincidence and I just happened to use that blog format thing as n example since its fucking hard to offend people with it when I only know 3 or so people that blog. But I guess not, YAY. 

I kinda give up on maintaining relationships and friendships. I accept everything about my friends because they are my friend. I ignore their bad habits and the shit that they do because in my opinion, that is what makes them them. If I think of it as a big enough issue, I'd talk to them about it. If they have legitimate reasons, then I'd accept that and they can do whatever the fuck they want, taking whatever protocols they want. It's their life after all. All I actually do is give people options/opinions. But oh well, this world doesn't roll that way. 

I'm slowly entering that state again where I have no real need for friends. I become numb to the shit around me and carry on with life as it is. Why try to change something that doesn't want to change. Why try and fix something that obviously can't be repaired. I've only lived about a  fifth of my life, its not like I won't ever find "friends" again. 

Welp, looks like henrii is starting shit up again. 

"Henrii Bui

On monday, we were in his bed watching some Sword Art Online. We happened to be watching episode 10 if I'm not mistaken, when he turns around and faced me. As he looked into my eyes, he said, 

"Lets get married someday." 

I couldn't help but be so incredibly happy when he said that. I cracked the biggest smile and (like those cliche anime scenes) tears started collecting in my tear ducts. I didn't think he'd ever say something like that. To think that he thought that far when it comes to our relationship hahas.

"So stay with me until that day ok?

If anything happens between us, promise to stay and work things out"

"Hai, as long as you're faithful, 

I would always be willing to make ends meet"

Well, from there I started to cry. Its been a while since I happy cried, but he truly makes me happy.

I love him dearly.

Honestly, I really admire my boyfriend. Hes always working so hard to make money to support himself me and his family. Its insane to think that he wakes up at 5.am in the morning to get ready for work. Honestly, if I had to wake up at 5 every single morning to work a 8-9 hour shift, fuck I would be miserable after a week or two. He is always completely exhausted after he finishes work, yet he still smiles and spends time with me. Lately he been more worn out then usual, so we tend to just chil at his house or my house, doing nothing but lay in bed and watch anime, or nap. Work occupies so much of his time, and exhausts even more of his energy that he just wants to chill. 

Lately, he hasn't been spending time with his friends, and it really worries me. I'm honestly envious of him for having such a tight group of friends, although I do question them sometimes when I hear the things they say behind one another's backs. To be frank, I always try to convince myself that its normal for people to do so, but I seem to have a tendency to always rid my life of such people. Anywho, back on track, I understand that he is the type of person who is not hesitant to bluntly prioritize things in a way that he seems fit. In his eyes, I am undoubtedly the most important aspect if his life. I'm really grateful for that. For the past month, hes given me nothing but the utmost support as I finish my exams. He dedicated the whole month into making sure that I was ok. Its amazing that he came to understand all my anxieties and insecurities in such a short amount of time. Without questioning or looking down on me, he accepted me for who I am, whether good or bad, weak or strong, and gave me all the support I needed without thinking about himself. He has been so selfless in the last month that thinking about it really makes me feel so damn lucky.

I know he hasn't been in contact with his friend much lately, but now that I finished school, I hope I can make things easier for him. Since my worries are over and done with, I can now cater to him better. I can make sure that he has enough nutrients to make it through the day without becoming a deflated floaty lol, Although I'm only making wraps this week, I intend to work on my bentos, so I can make him a bento for smoko everyday. He can now spend more time with his friends, rather than worrying about  me and my welbehing. Denne is so gentle and kind, but I honestly don't know if anyone knows that. 

I just hope that his "friends" or some people that he hangs with aren't saying the typical things like, "Hes ditching his friends just because he has a girlfriend," or, "He thinks he is better than us just because he has a girlfriend now." Hope people aren't completely closed minded and judgmental. I've had my fair share of such experiences and I hope he does not have to go through it too. Good and true friends these days aren't so easy to come across.

Anywho Denne, a cute owl gif to start your day, since I know you like cute animals =3

After all this time, I've realized it's you

My hearts a puzzle piece that seems to fit you

and I know I can't promise you this is risk free 

but I guarantee I wanna be part of your history 

Honestly, this blog was intended for me and maybe a friend or two to read if they are bored to the days. I intended this blog to be like a diary in which I can look back on in the far future. However, lately I've noticed that there is always an absolute minimum of 30 views on each post and an average of 60 visits of my main page. Most of my posts seem to average around 40 ish views, some even reaching over a hundred. Some days I even receive over 100 main page views. I know to a large majority of people, there isn't really a significance, however, it really does get me wondering. It's just that I don't have tags on my posts, and the only place that there is a link to my blog is on instagram. Really, who are the 30 ish people that seem to be reading my posts. How do the people that view my page find it? Its not like anyone really goes on my instagram at all. Anywho, enough wondering on this topic. To the next it is!

Well its 4:23am, and I'm about to start making Denne some food for work =) Yes, 4:23 in the morning. Denne wakes up for work at 5am, since work starts at 6. No, I'm not crazy, future me might think so but oh well. I'm making him a bacon and chicken nugget wrap with sweet chili sauce, with lettuce, tomato and carrot. 

Dad was sleeping in the front, so I couldn't give it to Denne, kiss him and wish him good luck at work. Truthfully, what I really look forward to in my day is when Denne comes home, whether it is to mine or his. I welcome him home and hug him.

Welcome Home

おかえり

Okaeri

I'm Home

"ただいま

Tadaima

In this short moment, it feels as though we are in a world of our own. Its as though absolutely nothing, but the fact that we love each other, matters. I know, I'm "wiped" *rolls eye*. But fuck what you think =) I be wiped when I want to be =) I love you Hun.

Its finally the end (YAY). After everything happened, its finally done! Good riddance to someone who isn't worth my investments. Anywho, I apparently have a new reader, the certain someone told me that ________ was reading through my blog. Well, Mr _______ , welcome to my world *stretches arms*. Just saying, the person that you're supporting, the person who you see as your "best friend" isn't that great of a friend as you think he is. You can not even imagine the things that he has said about you. When you weren't around, the shit he said about it is just fucking eye opening. He proclaims that you're his best friend, yet he so easily calls you annoying as fuck. He easily says he prefers to double date with another couple because you are too "wiped". Your best friend says that you're always trying to make everything into a competition with everyone, especially him. Doesn't that sound familiar? Isn't that what he said about me? Oh my. He thought you were all high and mighty about your  job and said that you were shit at it, laughing at the convos he had with people about how slow you were. This shit only scratches the surface, I'm not gonna even bother investing anymore of my time into this shit. After going along with the shit to see what more he would say, all I have to say to you is, good luck with your "best friend".

To the dude that thinks he is up there and dishes out the word immature like he is a wise man, dude you got to fix your shit up many times more than I ever will. Don't be so damn hypocritical. Tell me to take responsibility for myself? After my confrontation with you, I fixed my shit. What about you? Take responsibility? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HOW MUCH MUCH YOU HURT YOUR GIRL. 

Dude let me tell you, some the the blogs that your girlfriend writes when she is distressed fucking breaks my heart. When you aren't there for her and when you hurt her so bad over and over again. I read how she feels and I can't help but fucking cry. She is always thinking about you, trying to make you happy and trying to make things work. The shit that you did still haunt her to this fucking day and you aren't taking anywhere near enough measure to make sure that your woman is ok. In the end, she convinces herself that everything is HER FAULT, just so that everything could stop and so that things could revert back to normalcy. You get angry at her for not telling you things and not addressing issues with you. How can she when all you do is make things other people's fault. You don't give yourself the slightest chance to admit that you're wrong. Things always eventually lands back on her shoulders. Take a fucking step back and your view will widen. Reflect on your shit and see what you did wrong on rather than getting angry and storming off like all the other times. Your girl came to me to talk about these things a lot, and that was all she did. All she sought was an ear to listen, why? Because she knew that if she, or anyone tried to confront you about anything, you would make it into a big deal.

But whatever, if you keep treating her badly, you aren't gonna last and once again, you're gonna lose someone that meant so much to you. Don't let history repeat, and regret it once its way too late... ONCE AGAIN. After all this, do whatever the fuck you want =), be the same two faced person you are and continue to treat her like that, and eventually your world will crumble... AGAIN.

Good Luck with Life =)

That

 is 

A nice song to up the mood =)

and a bit of EDM <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My self-proclaimed "Knight in shining armor." Hahas, my man can be so damn cute. 

"Good Night Princess"

"Pleasant dreams my knight"

"Good Morning Hime"

"Morning Sweetheart"

"Do you need help princess"

"I'm ok hun ^~^"

"Kitty, can you grab _____  for me?"

"Hai ^~^, is there any other way kitty can be at your service?"

Honestly, because of what has been happening, I often forgot how much my man is there for me. The little things he does  makes me feel so much better, no matter what is going on. Blogging everything and having him being there for me made me handle the situation a lot better than I  actually would normally have. Rather than completely losing my head at the guy and giving him a piece of my mind, I just took it calmly  and set things straight. Although what I say is not going to matter to the guy, just like every single thing other people say to him (where the fault is put on him), I might as well try. Well those who mind do not matter, and those who matter do not mind. If someone could not come straight to me and address the problem like people this age should, then it  isn't in my place to allow the conflict to waver my mood and or my relationship. 

Well anywho, went fishing with Denne and Kevin tonight. It was fun I could say... well funny actually. At the end of the night, the only one that caught a fish was me. I caught 1 cat fish with Dennes aid (apparently it is pree freaken big)  and a stingray on my own. I guess that technically means that my first catch was a stingray? Denne helped me grab the stingray from the rocky shores while I was holding onto his rod. Whilst watching him and helping him by shining light in his direction, another fish caught on the rod. Him and Kevin started to joke that the fishes were sexist tonight. I joke back that, "ITS BECAUSE I LEFT THE LEGS ON MY PRAWN!! Nothing can be more appealing to a fishy than tiny prawn legs wiggling around :D," and they both laughed. So if you see the bait that still have legs wiggling around, YOU KNOW ITS MEEE"

Yeah, about that fish... The bastard went with the bait. I think the hook wasn't in far enough and I assume it ripped out of the mouth. There was a tiny sorry excuse of bait left near the blunt end of the hook. Freaken adorable. Also, since we decided to go at around 6, everything was closed except for sunnybank, hence we headed to Hanori Market. The prawns were around the size of my hand... freaken massive. Only bought 6, in total it was about 350 ish grams, costing around $10. Anywho, to sleep it is, getting a tad bit drowsy. Can't wait to see my man again tmrw. Nighty night.