What attracted me to him? Honestly, it's quite hard to point out exactly what it was, it was more of a rapid/slow realization. When I say this, I kinda mean like.. well the best way to explain it is... ok, basically I'm the type that meets a dude and I click instantly at that moment. However for Denne it was more of a "holly shit, I don't know when... but I think I like this guy".

  He was just like any other normal guy. He didn't try to get close to be, he didn't try to spoil me  and try to get at me, or get in my plans like a few that were in my life at the time did. He was just some dude that I met, some dude that was just there. Someone that existed. Pretty common thing for me as I did not really try to be close or really create any type of relationship with people during that period of my life. It was all just about me, and whoever wanted a portion of my time. I was basically like "If you want to go out somewhere with me, ask and I'll accept if I have the money". It wasn't that bad to be honest, because I got to experience a lot of things. The only bad thing I'd say was the part where people thought I was easy .-. but oh well, fuck them. It's obvious that I wasn't so meh. Any who, back on topic. What do I love about this cuddle teddy bear who seems to always put off the grizzly bear image? I guess I'll talk about what made me interested in him to begin with first.

Well first I guess would be how he approached me

Le Approach 

A large majority of guys approached me with flirtatious type of thing, however, Denne was different. He just talked to me and was really chill. A normal fucking human being. He asked me things, he opened up to me whilst I opened up to him. It was really nice, something about him just made me really trust in him straight up (even though I basically had nothing left when it comes to trusting someone new).

After meeting for the first time, he added me on facebook, talked to me until late as hell. Thought he was pretty interesting. He gave off such a "I don't want to have shit to do with you" type of feeling towards nearly everyone that he didn't know. The whole, "I'm in another world" package. But I saw little glimpses of what type of person he could really be during the times that he cracked a bit. I'm naturally really curious, so the two different types of personalities really got me interested. I thought "maybe theres something else to this guy, maybe he could be as broken as I am." and because of that I wanted to see what was up. 

Mr "I Like to Contradict Myself"

Denne, you know what I am talking about. He gave me so many mixed message... First it was pushing me away. Honestly I understood why, his high school friend was chasing after me. But what really tugged at my heart was what he said whilst at Hieu's place and  drinking a lot. 

"Kitty, please don't leave me. I promise that I won't be like the other guys that became close to you. I won't fall for you, then abandon you because you don't like me." 

I was like  

"Fuck, where did that come from o-o holly shit, just a second ago you just said that you wouldn't talk to be for 2 weeks because I keep asking if you're ok"

Yeah, after about a week, it seemed as thought he was trying to fight against his will to do something, and I wanted to find out what it was. As things commenced, and as he continually contradicted himself, I began to become more and more interested in him.

I Wanted Him to be Happy

He always seemed so down or out of it, and there seemed to always be something that he wanted that was out of reach. It wasn't an item thing, it was something deeper than that, but something was definitely keeping  or taking potential happiness away from him. 

Breaking the Bro-Code : Being Truthful

The reason behind him avoiding me like crazy was because his friend was chasing after me. He, being the retard he is, even tried to help his friend to get my affection back. He tried to talk me through things, convincing me and reasoning with me why his friend would make a good boyfriend and what not, whilst his own feelings for me were starting to develop. It just made me think "holly shit... this guy is so kind hearted that he is just retarded as fuck..." 

 I know some people think hes an asshole for going out with me, and think I'm a slut for "moving on to Denne so fast" but fuck you people. I lost feelings for the guy a while before I got with Denne, I made it clear that the most we could be was best friends. What happened already happened, the damage was already done and nothing would have been able to refill the crack that was left.

Once Denne found more things out, he started to be more open about his feelings, hinting more and all. The thing is, he didn't want to do anything to make people unhappy. He is the type that wants everyone in the story to be happy. However, he eventually said, "I think I'm starting to like _______"  and that is where things started. 

At this time, Magpoll, Hazzlenut and Corn liked me. Denne didn't want to do anything because Hazzlenut liked me. Corn was scared to ask or say anything, he hinted alot though. Magpoll didn't want to do anything because he was scared of being rejected again like what happened in grade 8, not to mention he already knew that Corn liked me and was about to ask me to formal and all too. So Magpoll didn't want to break that "bro-code". 

Since there was already an interest for Denne, not to mention some type of growing spark, the fact that he would break the code really made me think "wow.. this guy is serious... he isn't kidding". Him risking everything just to have a chance to chase me made me just kind of die a bit inside. I guess that there is what really got me to start falling for him.

Honestly I didn't want a relationship anytime soon. To a certain point I was independent, and finally, my happiness was not reliant on one person's presence. I was going out constantly. I was partying and enjoying myself being free to do whatever I wanted. No restrictions, not being held back, and no chances of being hurt a lot. But Denne really effect me in such a strong way that I just put my past in the junkyard. I gave it a chance. I risked whatever I had left of me, and I invested it in him. I was  basically like "If I get fucked over again, that's it, no more trying to be the better one and trying cater to a guy. Fuck relationships and fuck loyalty if being fucked over constantly is what it will bring".  I have to admit though, the first month did hurt a bit because of how different our outside personalities were, but afterwards things have been magical! After things have been cleared up and we were on the same ground, we have never been happier!