Well, I decided to help out around the house and do some laundry today... It ended up being 3 completely full loads. My washing machine can take a lot of clothes. Bloody hell that took a long time. Anywho, mum decided to help me hang one of the batches. It so happens that it was the batch that was mainly filled my my clothes. I found it so awkward hanging up my g-strings in front of mum. I've started to wear g-string a little over a year ago. It just find them to be so crazy comfortable. No stretchiness, no wedgies, not underwear lines, no butt creasing to the point where each butt cheeks looks like a w, no ugly crease lines from the elastics, plus, it looks sexy =3 I can bloody go on and on and on you don't even know. 

Mum knows that I wear g-strings, but I dont know why, it just felt so awkward when I was just hanging my panties next to hers. It was a weird weird weird few minutes. 

I have this thing for sleeping naked... well, close enough. I have underwear but close enough lol. I don't know why. Its just that feeling of freshly shaved legs, lotioned butt cheeks and all on the sheets, sooooooo nice. Silky smooth <3

People of the Male gender... you guys are so lucky to be able to sleep naked with ease.-. I'm so envious you don't even know LOL. ITS OK GIRLS! YOU CAN SLEEP FREE AND TOPLESS!!! ITSSSS OK! Tell social gender norms to go fuck itself =3

        I found a page that made me kind of grin. Not sure if it was a good or bad grin thb. Maybe it was in between?

The 4 Easiest Ways to Accidentally Ruin Your Relationship
Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-4-easiest-ways-to-accidentally-ruin-your-relationship_p2/#ixzz3AcoyGQSQ

#1 Making Them Your Mummy

How It Ends

You get home from work three hours after your husband. When you walk in the door, you find what appears to be a small Armageddon in the living room. Dishes are still in the sink from three days ago, the laundry is piling up and ... what the fuck is that smell? Did someone hide a body in there?

As you pass your husband, who is sitting at the kitchen table, meticulously painting the intricate scales of his pewter wizard/dragon combo miniature, he welcomes you home and asks, "I'm starving. What's for dinner?" When you wake up from the ensuing rage blackout, blood and human hair matting your clothes, you discover that the eastern half of your town is gone. Just ... gone.

It's been going on for years, and it just gets worse over time. He acts like a 14-year-old, and you're his mother. You didn't want another child, you wanted a husband. You're so sick of doing chores while he does hobbies, and it's not goddamn fair. Why can't he just get up and do one lousy load of dishes? Just once? No asking. No bragging afterward, like he just donated a kidney to a dying man. Just get up and be a goddamn fucking adult!

#4 Being Up Their Ass

How It Ends

You've been talking to your boyfriend for over 10 minutes, and the most response you've gotten has been "Mmmhhmmm" and an occasional annoyed glance away from the TV when some cheap bastard snipes him from across the map. You put your foot down and ask, "You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?" He shoots out an irritated sigh and repeats your last two sentences back at you like a court stenographer with roid rage, adding, "You cheap, cheating motherfucker! How does he even see me from back there?" Pissed off, you leave the room and call your mom to vent.

Later that night, you walk up behind him while he's pecking away at his computer and put your arms around him. He casually turns his cheek for you to kiss, never taking his eyes off the screen, and doesn't even appear to notice when you walk away. You're going to bed. He's not.

This has been going on for months, and you just don't understand how it got this way. He used to be so affectionate. You held hands everywhere you went. You'd lie around on the couch together and watch movies. You'd kiss and say "I love you" two dozen times a day. Everywhere the two of you went, you crop-dusted crowds with a sickeningly sweet, kissy-face vapor trail that left entire sections of town bent over and vomiting bile. What happened?

        The first one really makes me want to murder someone. With the last one, its probably about time I start spending time on my own rather than trying to do whatever the fuck I'm doing atm. Probably going to start to spend more time with Peter, Michael and the new guy I met the other day. Its nice that UQ has a  few down to earth people. Been talking to Peter quite a lot lately. I'm amazed about how much I opened up to him about the depression thing. Its nice that I'm not being given shit for it for once. 

Ps. I don't really get what this unintentional lying shit is, but there's been an awful lot of it lately. 

Well, tomorrow students get a day off to enjoy Ekka. Denne just bought about $100 dollars worth of fishing gear during his 2 hour break today, so I suggested we go fishing for our day off. So yeah. Looking forward to that. 

"I'll get everything ready tomorrow. All you need to do is be ready to go yeah? Sweet dreams, sleep in ok princess?"

My heart kinda skipped a beat .-.

"You mean everything to me, I really don't want to lose you"

Denne came over around 10 am today because I wanted help with genetics. He first page he opened up to had to do with pedigrees so I taught him how to distinguish between the different types. It was a challenge, but it was fun. It seemed as though he was enjoying it though. He seemed quite happy-go-lucky and cheery, constantly laughing while he was trying to grasp the concepts. He finished just in time for him to go to university. He left and about 2-3 hours later he came home. Denne came into my room right behind me. I lay on the bed, leaning against my bed frame, He went into full sulk mode whilst putting his head on my lap and wrapping his arms around my legs. As he hugged my legs like a body pillow, he sulked about being hungry. He refused to leave the bed and come to the kitchen so that he can choose what he wanted to eat. 

After 5 minutes of whining (in the most adorable way possible), I finally gave in and proceeded to go to the kitchen to fetch him some chips. He then refused to eat unless I fed him .-.

Again, I eventually gave up to his bloody adorable sulkiness... I sat back down, he lay on my lap and wrapped his arms around my legs again as he started to play his phone games. I tired so hard not to die...

Honestly, I'm feel quite blessed to be able to see this side of him. I'm happy that I'm one of the only one that can actually see him he sulky and childish. The look on his face really kills me. Being able to make him have such a carefree and happy expression means the world to me. 

I hope I can learn to take care of  you better, be able to entertain you in every single way you like (if you know what I mean ;) ), and be able to make you happier. I hope that I can shower you with all the love you have ever wanted or needed... any maybe even more. I hope that I can show you that you are the absolute world to me. 

I should introduce Simba someday... but just for today, I'm just going to talk about something I noticed. He is apparently 5 months old. He is a little over 3 kgs and he is definitely not fat... Denne, I think you;re gonna have a pretty large adult cat in a year or a few more months... Bloody hell he is heavy for his age o-o. 

My favourite photo of him. He is just so adorable when he is curled up in a little ball like that, GOD. He's quite adorable, but he is currently going through the "kitten crazies" phase and hes driving Denne insane. He is definitely spoilt though

Omg All them feels... Its like a bloody movie. THESE TEARS

I watched the first 10 seconds and I immediately thought, "This video is going to make me cry isnt it..." Yep, it happened, fml. Benji is such a sweetheart, I'm dying. She must have been so, so so so so so so happy. and so blown away. He was so excited about how happy she was that he couldn't sleep after the night happened. How lovable is that. I honestly thought that was so thoughtful of him to do that considering they had just had twins. 1 new born is hard to look after, 2 isn't any better. Its nice to see that he didn't stop putting in effort like most guys would. No wonder they have such a solid relationship.

"I just have one question, how many times did you cry?"

"I think with every note that I read at the venue"

"Really?!"

"Yeah, that's always Benji's goal, to make me cry. I think he thinks that if I don't cry, it's not good enough"

God Damn he sets his standards high O_O Bloody hell. Benji also said something in their vlog they posted a day after the night. It really gave me a lot of food for though.

"A lot of people were commenting, 'you're the best guy, you're the best bf, you're so romantic,' yadi-yadi-yada. It's what I do everyday, that's what's important to me. The once in a while romantic things are great, and obviously Judy is happy. But what I do everyday is gonna ring forever, because that is what will keep her.

He has a really big point. Its about the little extra effort you put in everyday that really matters. Yeah those one off, resource consuming, massive things are amazing, but what is most important is how you treat your significant other everyday. If you think that you're in a more comfortable stage of the relationship and you stop putting effort just because your SO is "yours" , then you may need to re-think your game plan.

It feels as though I've slowly become more and more anti-social, as though I'm retreating back into my shell. I don't really want to associate with people anymore. I'm not sure whether or not its me not wanting to, or me being afraid to. I'm been hurt a lot lately and quite frankly, I'm getting tired of it. Maybe I'm being narcissistic or selfish, I don't know, but who likes being hurt? Its just I'm sick of people being assholes.

I hate it when people use religion, ignorance to be dickheads. 

"My religion says that if you're not straight, you're a piece of shit and you're going to hell."

Yay thanx

"I don't know anything about you, but I don't like you. Why? I don't know"

Cough*gofuckyourself*cough

"You won't share your grades with me, you're probably stupid"

I don't like sharing my final grades with people because I don't like the, "I'm better than you" vibe. Whether its coming from me or them. I just don't think its a very nice thing to do.

"You're wearing 'fancier' clothes than me, you're trying to compete with me"

I usually wear what is on top of the pile or whatever I have on hand. I don't bother to "look extra pretty". I just wear what I feel comfortable in.

"You dyed you're hair, you're a rebel gang child and you're trying to get attention"

I dyed my hair as a way to express myself. I don't want attention from it nor do I care for it. I just feel comfortable with my hair like that. 

"You're always wearing a pair of beats, you're trying to be cool and look rich"

It's just a pair of bloody headphones... I wear it because I love to listen to music. 

"You're trying to get attention from guys because you're always wearing makeup. Always trying so hard"

I wear make-up because I feel comfortable in make up. I have sleeping problems so I always look like the walking dead. All I fucking use is eyeliner to brighten up my complexion ffs. 

Honestly sick of society. 

I've had an ulcer on the gum under my tooth for about 4 days. I just had a look at it today because it started to hurt more. I found out that the two teeth next to the original ulcer tooth each had its own little buddy. So I went to have a look at reasons why your body gives birth to those bloody horrible things. This is what I got.

Fuck my life lol...

If you know me, you know I have a bloody horrible sleeping problem. Most of the times, I lay in bed with relaxing sleep music... then BAM! 3 hours later... STILL AWAKE!

I kinda want to try and implement a new schedule to help me get my shit together. Planning to wake up at the same general time everyday. Ideally, I want to get up at 9am. However, chances are I won't be able to do that straight up. I'm going to give myself to 9.45am  to wake up. After waking up, brushing my teeth and all that morning doodad, I'm going to do some for of exercise for a minimum of 20 minutes and then complete my morning routine with a shower.

Now, lets see how long I can last.

"I bet you you won't last very long .-."

(Disclaimer: this is not something that Denne said, its just something that I think he's gonna say. Assumption based on past experiences)

Fuck you, I'm GONNA DO IT... cough*hopefully <.>

I've been feeling really unmotivated lately. Its kinda shitty waking up in the morning. Well, its hard to even wake up tbh. The alarm on my laptop doesn't wake me up anymore. So I end up waking up late. By the time I get up, I missed a lecture or two. Considering that during weeks 1 and 2, I only have 4 days of university with a maximum of 3 lectures a day,  I'm left wondering;

"Should I get up and start getting ready?" 

An internal battle starts in my head,

"Ah.. but I gotta do my make up ..."

"Nah its ok, I can do it in 15 mins and leave"

"But I can only make it to one lecture... it takes 1h30mins to get there and back..  I'd be on the bus more than I'd be on campus..."

"Fuck it! I'm going! IM GONNA BE A GOOD GIRL"

"..."

"But the I need to put clothes on... "

"Well..."

And I stayed at home.

Yeah.. that happened

Its been a few days since we resolved the big fight we have been having. Without going into too much detail about the actual fight itself, I guess I'll just post about the resolve.

 Many times, both of us honestly wanted to end it. We kept fighting and getting angry towards why the other is acting the way they are, with minimal efforts being invested in finding out the reason why. It was more:

"why the fuck are you doing this,"

Answer

, "what the absolute fuck?"

Rather than being what it should be. I'm no "pro" at relationships. Heck, I find it hard to control my emotions harder than anything else. Anxiety is a crippling bitch in relationships. I cry easily and I am a person who becomes insecure very easily if you push the right buttons. Yes, the only other relationship I was in, I was in for 3 years. HOWEVER, what I exited that relationship with was fears, insecurities, anxiety, uneasiness towards parties and knowing 'the signs'. Not many things that builds well on myself as a person. I'm not meaning to bash on my ex, its just that that relationship ended horribly and I did not take it very well. Some aspects I was left with, I am still trying to learn to overcome today. 

Sometimes I find it hard to overcome things when I can't find any sympathy from my SO. I was angry at him for not being able to show any empathy and for not understanding how I felt. He was angry that I was feeling the way I did and he just couldn't understand why I was so angry. It just kept cycling, and each cycle bought upon more anger and spite towards each other. BOOM, months later, we had a series of fights that made both of us contemplate whether or not this person really was for us. 

It boiled up to the point where he shouted, "If I'm hurting  you so much, then why do you even stay with me?" I felt as though that was where things took a turn for the best. 

"Its because I fucking love you. I've really wanted to just leave you because I feel as though I've lost my importance to you. I just want to leave because it feels as though I prioritize you over everything, when I am only just an option to you. But I stay because I FUCKING love you. I don't know why and it drives me insane. But even through all the hardship, I still express my love for you. I don't know what more I can do to show you that you're everything to me. I do everything for you, I cater to you in every way, whether its getting your favourite types of lingerie to spice things up in bed, or fetching you anything you want and feeding you while you play games. I get you whatever you please, whether its a food that you're craving, or a game that you really want. I only make $10 an hour and I only work 1 day on average, yet I still help you with money problems every since you quit your job. I work whole days, just to get you something for your birthday that I know you would really enjoy. I go anywhere with you, even when I'm not that interested. Just like fishing, I just go because I know its something you love to do. I don't mind just playing around for hours until the early hours of the next day, as long as you're happy and enjoying yourself. What more do I have to do for you, so that you can see how much I do for you. 

I said it whilst in a sea of tears, and as I finish, I got out of the car and went towards my door. I'm sure that turn gave him food for thought, as he stayed in my driveway with the car lights on until I went inside and locked the door, rather than speeding off. The next day I asked him why he stayed with me, he replied with:

"I honestly wanted to break it off many times too, but once I let the anger subside, I couldn't find it in myself. I guess my reason why be the same, I just really love you too. You've given me a love that I've lacked most my life (too personal to share this part, its not my place to say why on my blog). You make me so happy and I can't forget how much you mean to me."

It seems as though those two speeches we had really made us both calm down and really reflect. We seemed to appreciate what the other has done more and I realized that I was also taking him for granted to a certain degree. Things got down to a point where both of us were able to sit down in bed together and actually talk. We started off just sitting, and slowly drifted towards laying in bed, tightly wrapped in each others' arms. After two days of talking, we agreed on how to deal with things in the future and how to agrees issues as they come up, rather than leaving them and pretending they didn't happen. We were open to the point where we could even talk about his issue and our intake on it. Things were cleared from both of our sides and heavy loads were taken off.

Turns out that we aren't as good at communicating as we used to be. Money problems have been prevalent for the both of us. I'm trying to support myself without must help from mum (shes already done so much for me, I can't find it in myself to depend on her anymore than I already have) and Denne quit his full time job to start going to university and other crazy things (that I shouldn't mention because its his private life). He became more withdrawn and didn't want to go out because of the money problems and  he felt bad for needing to come to me for money.

Honestly, I became quite mad.
"Are you serious? Denne, are we in a relationship, or is this thing not serious to you. What am I to you?"

"You're my girlfriend|"

"Yeah, I'm your girlfriend, your significant other. We are in a relationship Denne. We are sharing a life together, traveling the same road. We go through beautiful sunny days together as much as we do on stormy days. Your happiness is mine and my happiness is yours, just as much as your troubles are mine. We go things together and we do not push the other away. We help each other through no matter what it is." 

He was quite for a moment and replied,

"Gomen hun, I'll tell you when something is wrong ok?"

And we proceeded to go through things until there was nothing left to say.

The next day or so, we carried on , trying to rid of the after taste in our mouths. We rassled many times over, rolling around on bed, playing around, only to end up in an embrace. As we face each other, I feel my heart race again. We smile, hug, kiss and ....

yeah, it ends here for tonight.  Its 2 am already. Don't mind the typos.

Here's a really good classic. There is more of a modern RnB feel to this cover, but its cool.
Al Green - Let's Stay Together (1971)