Wrong Choice?...
When all your closest friends
tell you that they all honestly think that you chose the wrong person, there's
really nothing much to think of. Friends going wtf at you when your decisions
are so different then what they naturally are, picking someone so different
from what you're used over someone who you know will always treat you right.
When your girls just honestly open up to you and say "you wouldn't have a
problem at all if you chose Magpoll. Even in his very moment you wouldn't need
us to be here, he'd be sitting here hugging the shit out of you. No offence to
________, but you know it's true, Magpoll will always put you first no matter
what. You know the only reason why he's doing **** a lot now is because he's
stressed out, and because he lost you. I asked him if he would quit it for
someone important to him and he said he would."
...
"We know that
you've fallen for Denne with whatever you have left of your heart from what Lan
did, but if he isn't going to give you what you need in your time of distress,
he's not worth it."
I just think that I'm not cut out for this yet. Don't
get me wrong, I'm not selfish to the point where I say that everything has to
be about me, and that he needs to put me above everything. I understand that
there are other priorities too and things can move up and down regarding
importance depending on he situation and what not. I don't need money and what
not to be happy in a relationship. I don't need to always go out to somewhere
fancy or pricey at all. I'm more than 100% happy sending the day at my boyfriends
house doing shit all by watch him play games, watch movies or just laying in
bed doing nothing. All I need and look for in a relationship is a man who can
treat me right and support me when I need it. I bond through quality time, so
no matter if its at the park together or in the most expensive hotel on earth,
I'd be equally happy because I'm with the most important person in my life. I
don't care if I go over his place and all he does it play games, I'm fine with
sitting there watching and conversing with him.
All I really need is support,
especially at this point in my life. I expect my boyfriend to be there for me
when I cry or when I have a mental break down, not my friends. Buy me all the
diamonds in the world, spend all the money you ever earn on me, but I would
never be as happy as when you just help me pick myself up and wipe away my
tears.
The only guy that has understood this about me is Magpoll... Funny.
Maybe I need a break from everything, take away the boyfriend title and its
responsibilities from you... I can't even be happy myself, how can I bring
happiness into a relationship where the other half also cannot help me through
this part of my life. I can't continue wih this baggage, and I cannot continue
on rely on another guy to wipe away my tears and ease me to sleep instead of my
boyfriend...
I'm lost with what to do
And for those who judge, Go fuck
yourself. You know my name and my face, but you I haven't got a clue about my
stories and what I go through. Amen
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